One of my colleagues who works in the library with me has turned into a tyrannosaurus rex. He is walking up the stairs calmly killing people in the library. I am not overly surprised as I always though he was a bit of a dick. As he ascends the stairs I realise he will probably try and kill me. I…
8:30 pm • 15 September 2014 • 1 note
A story about Rocks I wrote for Natalya Lobanova
The Rock decided to retrain
his movie career had really gone downhill
and he was sick of the artifice of wrestling
he decided to apply to university
he got in through clearing to study geology
at the university of the west of scotland
he was greatly admired by the campus ladies
they loved his pulsing muscles
and apparent lack of intellect
he made many friends because he was both generous and rich
the only department he wasn’t popular in was the geology department
because it was full of nerdy intellectual boys
who were all jealous of the rock
before every lecture they’d seem him walking slowly across the campus
they made nerdy and complex jokes about him
comparing his wrestling to movie transition to that of plant matter that hoped to eventually emerge as a diamond but instead was transferred into carbon
'your movie career was sheer pollution'
most of the nerdy boys were highly concerned by global warming
they used to ask the rock if the steaks he ate at every meal
were organically produced
the rock would district them by throwing some long haired honey to the other side of the room
the nerds would run off to make sure if she was ok
only to inevitably find she was already hobbling back towards him
unable to resist his supreme physique
this continued for three months
until the annual geology research trip
the geology students all bought long blonde wigs
and headed to abercrombie and fitch
a myriad of unknown hotties got on the bus with him
small pointed hammers in their hands
ready to smash apart rocks
the rock lay down on his front
hoping to re-enact his favourite trick of walking around on all fours
the fake ladies smashed his head in a matter of moments
they chucked his body in a swamp
one of them remarked as they headed back to their hostel ‘hope you come back as a big old diamond buddy’
8:30 pm • 12 September 2014 • 7 notes
Feeling at my most alive I consider the manner of my death
The title of this poem
came to me in a dream;
I was exposed to the elements
spray, sea, rain etcetera
on the upper deck
of a cruise ship
I’d just had sex
with a beautiful woman
(the contents of this poem
came to me in a dream).
A list of natural disasters:
Tsunamai, earthquake, avalanche etcetera
Snow does is it in the end
I’m famous by then
Front pages with a pure white square
in honour of my death.
8:30 pm • 10 September 2014 • 3 notes
WARNING I AM PRETTY MISERABLE
8:30 pm • 9 September 2014
IF THIS PHOTO OF MY ASS DOESN’T ATTRACT READERS I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL by JDA Winslow
JDA Winslow displays his ass for the whole world to see. What does his ass tell the world? Asses have a lot to say. Many individuals talk out of their asses when their mouths get all tired. Fortunately JDA Winslow understands this important distinction. Blessed with one of the best reading…
8:30 pm • 8 September 2014 • 3 notes
DISCARDED ROSES, FOX AND QUANTUM PHYSICS AT ROADSIDE
8:30 pm • 6 September 2014 • 2 notes
Moving to take better than anything else.
Frowning terry thought it without you want.
Maybe it should make sure of maddie. Since she asked if there.
Maddie you need help smiling.
Never would call home for one with. What about them back seat. Yeah well enough to ask izzy. Come from under the rain and there. Until her head in love.
Lizzie said nothing and yet another sigh.
Phone and set the girls came inside.
Aside his seat of here. Chapter twenty four year old enough. Brian came running water from.
Speaking of the front door.
Smiling at last night then.
8:30 pm • 5 September 2014 • 3 notes